Mai Kin Khao!
The first phrases I learnt when I came to Thailand were: ‘Kin khao’, its negative: ‘Mai kin khao’, and the interrogative: ‘Kin khao, mai?’
Kin means to eat, khao means rice, and mai means no, or not. unless it comes at the end of a sentence (accompanied by a rising tone), when it turns the sentence into a question – a bit like ‘do you?‘. So, ‘Kin khao’ means ‘to eat rice’, ‘eating rice’, ‘eats rice’, ‘I am eating rice’ (also you, he, she, we, they) etc. By extension, khao can also just mean food in general – probably because rice has historically been the most common food in Thailand. In a similar way, the word bread cam to symbolise money in English.
A Peculiarity of Thai
Another aspect of Thai that I learned early, was that some words can only be used when referring to a certain class of people. According to this rule. kin is for 95%+ of the population; chan means eat for monks (Pra chan khao), and savoy means eat when referring to the king (Jao savoy khao) – that is, this word may only be applied to one person in Thailand.
We don’t have this weird rule in English, but it would be similar to: people eat; monks consume, and the king dines. These words are rigid, and not interchangeable.
My First Thai Joke
So, one evening at a table of about 15 Thais, none of whom spoke English except my wife, I judged that it was a good time to test my first Thai joke. I said to those present: “Jao (the king) mai kin khao”. There was a silence, but people looked at each other quizzically. Then one said in Thai: “That is not true! The king is a man of the people! He eats rice every day!” People were nodding, and and looking at me disapprovingly.
I replied: “Mai chai (No), jao mai kin khao, jao savoi khao”.
My wife kicked me under the table as I smiled, waiting for the penny to drop. People seemed to be debating what I had said.
“Don’t ever make silly jokes like that again!” said my rather crossly wife, “You’ll get us beaten up!”
Sometimes, you have to be very careful ☺️
Why My Thai Joke Was Dangerous
As a side note, I have heard the following anecdote from several people: A foreigner was standing in a queue, when a nearby Thai man pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket. A coin came out too and rolled by the foreigner. He stepped on the coin, retrieved it, and handed it back to the Thai, who took the coin and then punched him in the face. The man was shocked, naturally. “What…?” he asked.
“Never step on the king again!” the Thai replied angrily, and stormed off.
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